Restorations Therapy Blog

Why We Shouldn’t Compare Traumas

by on Saturday, October 3rd, 2020


Anyone that has experienced trauma has experienced it in a different way than others. Each traumatic experience is unique, and everyone is affected in different ways. This is why you cannot compare traumas. Trauma is not a contest. Believing that someone else’s trauma is worse than yours is unfair to both of you, because while you are wondering how they survived their trauma, they may be wondering the same thing about you. The events in your life are subjective, meaning that you cannot compare traumatic experiences with others. Comparing traumas can only lead to more suffering and hindered recovery. 

Harmful To Healing

Trauma is hard enough to cope with on your own after the initial event(s). Coping with what happened to you while comparing it with someone else’s trauma can cause you to repress your trauma even more because you believe it’s not “bad enough.” You may think to yourself, “That person went through that horrible experience, how can I complain about what I went through? Their experience was so much worse.”

This thought process can lead to even more damaged self-worth, a refusal to seek help, and an overwhelming amount of negative thoughts to surround your own trauma. Comparisons will only hinder your ability to heal and cope with what happened to you.

Stress & Trauma Are Individual Experiences

No two people experience the same stressful or traumatic situation in the same way. What may be simply a difficult situation for one person can be a completely traumatizing experience for another. This is because every human mind is different and reacts to distressing situations in various ways. No two traumas can be compared for this very reason. Making comparisons will only cause more damage. 

When traumas are compared, it is not uncommon for healing to be stagnated. This is because the person believes their trauma simply isn’t “bad enough” to be affecting them as much as it does. Trauma begins to be repressed, self-worth is diminished, and recovery is virtually impossible. Humans experience trauma and distressing experiences in a variety of different ways, therefore no two traumatic events can be truly compared. Comparisons do more damage than most people realize. Rather than comparing traumas, people should look to each other for support and build each other up. Instead of saying, “It could be worse,” realize that things don’t have to reach a certain point of pain and suffering for you to seek help. At Restorations Therapy, we understand the complexity of trauma and its impact on people’s lives. Call us today at (720) 446-6585 for more information on trauma and trauma-informed care. 

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