Restorations Therapy Blog

Signs You Need to Set Healthy Boundaries and How to Do So

by on Tuesday, June 22nd, 2021


Living a happy and healthy life is impossible without setting proper boundaries. While many people know what it means to set boundaries, a handful of people believe their boundaries are acceptable, and they shouldn’t change them. However, certain signs point to having unhealthy boundaries that need to be reevaluated. By learning what these signs are and how to recognize them in your own life, you can begin to set healthy personal boundaries that will allow you to live your best life. 

Why Are Boundaries Necessary?

While some people believe setting boundaries is unnecessary, doing so is needed for a healthy lifestyle. There are numerous reasons you need to set boundaries, primarily because of the benefits they have for your life. They help you avoid things that will negatively impact you while simultaneously ensuring you engage in practices that promote your well-being. 

Boundaries allow you to:

  • Protect yourself from danger
  • Make good choices
  • Ensure you align with your personal goals and values
  • Take care of your physical and mental health
  • Avoid unhealthy, toxic relationships
  • Promote healthy, respectful, and honest relationships
  • Use your money and resources sensibly

Having unhealthy boundaries can cause you harm and destroy your well-being. Noticing the signs of unhealthy boundaries is crucial to protecting your physical and mental health.

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

Noticing unhealthy boundaries within your life is easier than you may believe. If you are questioning if your boundaries are healthy, you most likely already sense that they are not. However, knowing what signs to look for can give you a clear assurance that changes need to be made. If you notice any of the following in your life, it could be time to set new boundaries for yourself and others:

  1. Helping Others While Neglecting Your Own Needs: Seeing someone you care about struggle can understandably make you want to help them. However, you should not neglect your own needs if you are already struggling to help someone else. If you are constantly fixing others’ problems instead of your own, how can you expect to make yourself feel better?
  2. Struggling With Unhealthy Relationships: Finding yourself being consistently taken advantage of is a clear indicator that you have unhealthy boundaries. Making excuses for other people’s bad behavior shows that you are allowing others to treat you this way. While abuse is never the victim’s fault, it is crucial to know when to remove yourself from the company of another if they are refusing to respect you and your boundaries.
  3. Feeling Guilty For Other People’s Thoughts and Problems: Being an empath is not a bad thing, but not having boundaries when it comes to empathizing with others can wreak havoc on your life. For example, believing you are responsible when someone has a bad day, you take it upon yourself to fix it. You may become angry when your partner doesn’t fulfill your needs even though you haven’t expressed them. 
  4. Consistently Say “Yes”: You don’t have to say “yes” to every invitation or favor extended to you. If you find yourself constantly saying yes and causing your schedule to overflow, you will most likely begin feeling resentful of the other person. Respecting your boundaries is an excellent way to combat this issue.
  5. Going Against Your Values to Fit in: Wanting to be a part of a group can cause those with unhealthy boundaries to give up their personal values to feel more included. However, doing so can cause you to lose your identity, be around those that negatively impact your life, and more. 

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

You shouldn’t feel ashamed if you find yourself having unhealthy boundaries. Everyone begins somewhere, and struggling with boundaries is more common than you think. Luckily, you can learn how to set healthy boundaries to live your happiest life. 

To begin, it is crucial to know what your values are. Reflecting on what is most important to you will help you during this process. Consider writing them down to refer back to later. Once you have done this, begin thinking about your past, present, and future. Determine where you have been, where you are, and where you want to be. Doing so will give you a clearer picture of what boundaries you need to set. Remember to focus on self-care during this process, as many people often leave it out. 

If you need support during this process, don’t be afraid to reach out. Whether it’s someone in your counseling group, sober living home, or a friend you’ve known forever, seeking advice from others can give you perspectives you hadn’t considered before. 

Once you have determined what boundaries you need to set, consider writing them down. Writing them down helps make them more permanent and allows you to refer back to them later if they need to change, depending on your circumstances. Upholding boundaries may be hard at first, but once you realize the benefits of doing so, you can master setting healthy boundaries. 

Boundaries are crucial for a happy, healthy, and productive life. You may know that boundaries are necessary, but this doesn’t mean you have healthy boundaries in your own life. Noticing the signs of unhealthy boundaries will allow you to keep your life in check and ensure you live in a way that protects your well-being and life in general. If you need help learning to identify and remove unhealthy boundaries in your life, call Restorations Therapy. We work with men and women of all ages to improve various areas of their life including addiction, relationships, mental health, and more. Setting boundaries is a fantastic way to address these areas of your life to ensure your well-being is protected. Through our therapy programs, you will learn about boundaries and much more to live your best life. Call us today to learn more and get started on improving your life at (720) 446-6585.

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