by Kyle Beard on Monday, December 15th, 2014
How often do we see a woman look up across the way, catching eyes with the handsome man? Or the movie marriage where the parents find alone time every night to connect and be intimate? What about the family who goes on picture perfect family vacations and experiences amazing Saturday trips to the park? Hollywood indoctrinates Americans with the belief that marriage, parenthood, and families exist in eternal bliss, without a problem to face. Without realizing, these beliefs around marriage and family begin to assimilate into our own beliefs. Why can’t I have the perfect spouse, always attentive to my needs? Or the children who never complain, entertaining themselves except when I want to join?
Expectations in marriage play a crucial role in creating a healthy marriage. Addicts view life through a distort lens of images and videos of “perfect” women, digital airbrushed to be greater than life! Years spent at this level of interaction raise the physical expectations for a spouse, in looks and sexual acts, where the only result is disappointment. Real life can never measure up to the movies, pornography, or stories.
Life isn’t a movie. Spouses become anger; children get sick; arguments happen. Addictions create spaces for a person to escape, to leave the difficult world for a fantasy without problems, with unhampered pleasure. True recovery involves recognizing life will never be like the movies, accepting life will be difficult, and mustering the courage to face the hard moments,rather than running away. True strength does not mask life’s difficulties, but shows courage facing them.