Restorations Therapy Blog

Knowing When to Go to Couples Therapy

by on Tuesday, December 15th, 2020

Couples therapy is often associated with a broken relationship in need of a desperate fix. However, couples therapy is for anyone who wants to maintain their relationship for the long term, keeping up proper maintenance for the relationship to thrive. Everyone goes through hard times in their relationship, and going to couples therapy does not mean you are at risk of losing it all. A couples therapist can help with little things along the way. 

Unhappy in the Bedroom

Whether you have been in a relationship for a few months or a few years, you may notice that you are left feeling unsatisfied in the bedroom. This is a normal occurrence for couples, and there is no shame in it. Unsatisfactory sex is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. However, this dissatisfaction can often lead to wandering eyes. Instead of looking outside of your relationship, going to therapy can help bring life back into your relationship. You both can talk about your needs and see what can be done to meet them with the therapist’s advice. 

Feeling a Lack of Love

Feeling a lack of love can also be described as losing that “spark” that many couples talk about. At the beginning of the relationship, you might have been used to spontaneous date nights, flowers, and gestures that brought the two of you together. This honeymoon phase is commonly lost once you two have settled in for a long term relationship with kids, jobs, and more keeping you busy. You stop those sexy looks and touches, the hugs, eye contact, and more. Therapy can help you talk issues out and find what is missing so you can rebuild together and rekindle the relationship.

Constant Bickering or Spats

A common stereotype perpetuated by movies is that you need to have a big fight with your partner to realize you need to go to therapy. However, things don’t have to reach that point. If you find most conversations with your partners being mostly the two of you bickering, it could be time to consider some outside help. Remember that it is better to catch the problem early before there is an explosion. If you find yourself bickering with your partner, consider going to therapy to fix it. 

An Affair

A full-on scandal is not necessary to seek couples therapy. Whether an affair is physical or emotional, it is best to stop and discuss what is going on with an outside source so you can make a rational decision of what to do next. Affairs often occur over time, starting with small actions that lead to grander ones. Remember that an affair is not just physical, either. You can be invested in an outside person’s life and have an emotional affair. Either way, if you catch yourself in this predicament, it is best to seek outside help and talk before things get out of hand.

Significant Change

Going through change together can be a reason to seek counseling. Significant change can include various things such as an affair, trauma, new job, death in the family, etc. When one of these things occurs, it can throw you and your partner’s relationship off balance, causing problems. While one of you may go to individual therapy to cope with what happened, going to couples therapy can ensure that your relationship makes it through. 

Someone Asks for Couples Therapy

Whether you or your partner ask to seek couples therapy, this action can be terrifying. You don’t know how the other person will react, so you are most likely filled with anxiety. However, it is essential to remember that couples therapy is normal. You shouldn’t go into damage control mode to avoid a serious situation or issue, but instead, hear your partner out and see what they have to say. If they are the ones asking for therapy, ask why. Talk to them and remember that they are wanting to fight for the relationship by going to therapy. Together you can build a more substantial base and maintain your relationship for the long term. 

You Want to Add Something

Long term couples are committed and with each other for the long haul. Even if you don’t have any problems, remember that going to therapy can open your eyes and add something special to your relationship that you didn’t know missing. Relationships need nurturing, and therapy is a great way to keep the connection alive. A commitment to each other means striving to be better together and counseling can help you both grow. You may consider attending couples therapy if you are committed to your relationship and want to keep it healthy, happy, and loving.

Couples therapy is often stigmatized to make you believe that you must be in a rock bottom, dead relationship to go and seek help. However, this is not the case. Couples therapy is often a common part of any healthy long term relationship, and there is no shame in going. There are various reasons you may find yourself in couples therapy, and you should not feel ashamed for experiencing any of them. At Restorations Therapy, we help you and your partner analyze your relationship to identify and break out of negative cycles. Through your work with us, you can begin to restore your relationship in healthy ways that have you both feeling confident and happy. Our specialized staff has dealt with numerous problems couples face, such as change, loss of love, unsatisfactory sex, and more. Together we can get you back to a loving and safe relationship. Call us today for more information at (720) 446-6585.

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