by Kyle Beard on Thursday, November 21st, 2019
Your partner falling out of love with you is something that you may not even want to imagine. You cannot understand how things between the two of you were so passionate and romantic to your partner’s feelings changing for you. By allowing yourself to see the signs that your partner is no longer in love with you, you can end this relationship and fill your heart with someone different who loves you.
At the beginning of a relationship, you and your partner want to see each other every second and it never felt like too much. You know that things are going wrong if your partner seems to be avoiding you or wants to discover him or herself. Your partner is not staying in touch with you like usual and might go missing for hours or days. It could also be that your partner makes plans after work a lot or making plans on their day off. The excuses start to get tiring to hear when it is the same ones over and over. If your partner finally does decide to spend time with you, it is like it is as a favor to you instead of for the both of you.
It used to be where your partner would call you just to say hi to you or hold the door open for you when getting out of the car. After a while, those things just started to stop. No more little gifts like flowers or cards or candy to show how much your partner loves you. When you give gifts to your partner, they may not act as appreciative as in the past. This shows that your partner is withdrawing from you emotionally even if you two live together.
Every couple fights. There are some couples who bicker like they are going to break up, but then make up passionately. Then there are other couples that hardly fight but work more towards resolving any disagreements. Eventually no matter how bad the fight is, two people in love will want to make up because they do not want to lose each other. People who are following out of love will not bother arguing because they do not care enough to mend the relationship. They will just pick themselves up and make an excuse to leave to gain alone time.
It used to be where you and your partner used to make fun of each other or joke around. Now, it seems like everything you are saying is annoying them or making them upset. Your partner also may not care anymore about hurting your feelings like comparing you to other women or saying mean things to you under their breath. When you try to call your partner out on how horrible they are being towards you, they refuse to admit it or make you seem like you are hysterical. Even doing cute things like sneaking a peck on the cheek or tickling your partner is irking them. You do not want to anger your partner so you feel like you have to be more careful about what you say or do. You should never have a partner that you are scared of.
It seems like your partner no longer wants to touch you anymore. In healthy relationships, it is not always about how often the intimacy is there but just that it is passionate when it happens. In rocky relationships, one person loses interest in sex and the other gives up trying to initiate sex. This can lead to your partner cheating on you or you suffering in silence from the lack of intimacy. It makes you feel like you are disgusting knowing that someone who is supposed to love you will not touch you. Not even a hug or a kiss. It shows that your partner no longer wants to feel close to you.
The first thing to do is not to panic as you will not be able to think. Try to avoid making frantic gestures to get your partner back. It will just scare that person away and make them separate from you even more. You cannot force someone to pay attention to you. They should just want to naturally. It is best to give each other some space to focus on yourselves before jumping back into your relationship. It can be to focus on your career, your friends, paying the bills, and your children.
If after a while there is no change, speak to your partner that you feel like there is a disconnect between you and that you want to bring the spark back to your relationship. Your partner may be feeling the same way about you. You two can even try couples therapy to have a trained therapist teach you about what you must do to keep the relationship alive. If you two have tried everything, do not hold on to something that no longer exists as people can fall out of love and not have a reason for it. It is important to save your energy for someone who loves and admires you instead of wasting your love on someone who does not feel the same way.
Located in Centennial, Colorado, Restoration Therapy works with patients who are struggling with addiction, intimacy disorders, and trauma who are seeking treatment. In order to offer patients a more holistic view of healthy sexuality, Restoration Therapy offers individualized and group therapy, workshops, psycho-educational classes, and more to restore the harm brought on by addiction and intimacy issues. For more information, please call us at (720) 446-6585 as we are open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.