Restorations Therapy Blog

How You Know You Are Unconditionally in Love Or Just Puppy Love

by on Friday, December 13th, 2019

People fall in love all the time when they find a connection with someone. But when hardships fall or when someone in the relationship gets hurt, you can fall out of love as well. Unconditional love is when the love you feel for someone is always there no matter what happens. 

When You Let the Little Things Go

It is normal to fight with your loved one in a relationship. When you are in an unconditional love relationship, it does not matter who is right or wrong. It is more important for the two of you that in the end, you work to make up with each other even if you just agree to disagree. If the two of you are just in love, you may let this fight affect your relationship and see your partner in a different way. To avoid keeping your feelings of love fading even in a terrible fight, remember you are in love. You still feel a level of understanding and love for that person because you do not want to lose them. This will show you that you two can still fight but still be together and love each other all the same.

When You Take Responsibility For Your Actions

Perfection does not exist in anyone. We all will make mistakes and disappoint our partner. The important thing is to accept your partner’s imperfections and love them all the same. Grudges do not exist in an unconditional relationship. You do not blame, shame, or hold anything against the other one later. You are also able to take responsibility for your actions and words as well as your partner. Learn to forgive that person when they feel sorry for what they did and forget about it. You know how important your relationship is. It is important not to ruin it over the little things. Think about what your partner accused you of and acknowledge what you did to them to show you are willing to admit when you are at fault.

When You Do Not Need to Earn Love

Love is something that cannot be bought. This means that in an unconditional relationship, you cannot buy your way into forgiveness. If you feel like the only way to get your partner to stop being mad at you is to buy them gifts, it shows that you are going to have an empty bank account by the end of your relationship. That your partner does not love you but loves the gifts you buy for them. It does not mean that it will stop them from their wrongdoing. Marriage is when you are in this relationship for better or worse. If you cannot handle when it gets worse, you cannot just buy a gift every time to make it better. You love them regardless of what is said and done.

Being in Love is Solely Following Your Emotions Without Reason

When you are in love with someone, you see things that you want to see in your partner. You may find them attractive and like it when they compliment you. During the first few years, that may be all that you see. Red flags are ignored because you want to believe there is only good in that person. You really realize that what you are experiencing is just puppy love when you are trying too hard to keep that spark alive because you want what is familiar. In the beginning, it may seem like you are in the long haul when you think you are in love only to grow apart and experience that flame going out. 

Being in Love is Hoping Your Partner Will Change

Unconditional love is loving your partner no matter what happens. Just being in love, though, is that you see your partner’s flaws, but are hoping that they will eventually change. For example, your partner may have anger issues. You are still sticking around in the relationship because you think over time, your partner’s anger will decrease and everything will be fine. If you ignore the red flags if your partner becomes verbally or emotionally abusive, it can lead you to feeling hurt and frustrated if you do not do something about it. If you do not do anything, it shows you are just scared of your partner. 

Being in Love is Occasionally Comparing Your Partner To Your Ex

It is normal that when you are in a new relationship to think about your ex sometimes. It can be that you find your new partner is better at communication than your previous one or is not afraid to show that they love you. You know it is a problem, though, when you feel like your ex is better than your current partner. It is possible when you both fight, you bring up your ex and ask why your partner cannot be like him or her. Real love is not making comparisons of your partner with other people. You accept that your ex had things you wish your current partner had. But, it does not mean you should love them less. You love your partner based on what they can offer you in their own way. No one can tell you what you should be feeling. Only you can decide whether what you are feeling is puppy love that will eventually fade away or an unconditional love that will stay with you forever.  

Located in Centennial, Colorado, Restoration Therapy works with patients who are struggling with addiction, intimacy disorders, and trauma who are seeking treatment. In order to offer patients a more holistic view on healthy sexuality, Restoration Therapy offers individualized and group therapy, workshops, psycho-educational classes, and more to restore the harm brought on by addiction and intimacy issues. For more information, please call us at (720) 446-6585 as we are open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.

About Kyle Beard

Chris Simon founded Restorations Therapy Center to help those struggling with sexual addiction to discover health and wholeness for themselves as well as for their marriage and family. The havoc addiction brings is not compartmentalized to one area of life, but influences marriage, family, work, friendship and more. Chris experienced the turmoil of addiction in his own life. Through his own recovery journey, he strives to help others in the throes of addiction to experience the freedom and joy he lives today. Chris received in Masters of Arts in Clinical Mental Health, working solely with individuals struggling with sexual addiction his entire career. He trained under Dr. Tom Olschner, a psychologist working with sexual addictions for over thirty years, gaining a breadth of experience and knowledge from a renown therapist. A Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) is the only certification in existence for sexual addiction recovery, which Chris has pursued with fervor. You can contact Chris via email at Chris@RestorationsTherapy.com or telephone at (720) 446-6585

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