Restorations Therapy Blog

How to Tell If There’s Chemistry Between Two People

by on Sunday, January 19th, 2020

Chemistry between two people is an instant connection that is impossible to ignore. But, you may be mistaking chemistry for infatuation. By knowing if what you are feeling between your partner is chemistry, you will know if what you are feeling is true love.

Body Language

Chemistry does not always have to be in words but in body language. For example, you could be showing affection towards your partner through blushing or leaning in towards each other. Those actions probably stand out more than anything you have to say. Nonverbal cues are also difficult to control as we may think about the words we say, but our body’s natural reactions are harder to stop. Body language tends to reveal what we are trying to hide. These subtle cues can show chemistry and attraction where verbal communication cannot.

Playful Bantering

Teasing someone can be another sign of chemistry as it is a way of grabbing a person’s attention and joking around with them. It is also another way to establish rapport when you do not know what else to say. This can mean playfully pushing each other, using silly or cute nicknames, or harmlessly picking on each other. This is no different than when little kids prank each other as a way of showing affection. The same can be said when we get older. 

Intense Eye Contact

The way that two people look at each other can say a lot about how they feel about each other. When you are attracted to someone, you cannot help but automatically stare at them. It is like your eyes are drawn to them and you cannot look away even if you try. You know the chemistry is there if the two people stare into each other’s eyes when talking and interacting with each other. The stare may become so intense that they may have to look away from each other.

Subtle Flirting

Because your feelings for this person is very strong, any hugs or cheek kisses can be a big deal to you. You may make your hugs with this person longer, hold hands longer, or rub each other’s backs. Subtle flirting can help two people express their attraction to each other without it being obvious to other people how you two feel. It makes it feel like it is a secret the two of you share where you have body gestures or sayings that you do not share with anyone else.


When you are around someone you like, you cannot help but smile constantly in their presence. When you smile, it shows that there is no one you would rather be around than this person. If you cannot stop smiling at this person, then there is great chemistry that exists with this person. You may not even need to do any interaction to feel happy with this person. All you have to do is smile and you will feel more positive.

Noticing Small Things

Because you pay attention to this person so much, any small changes they make can be easily noticed by you. It can be things like a new hairdo, that person’s favorite things, new clothes, nervous habits, or how to make them happy. You can also remember a lot of things that they have said to you like stories that would seem like no big deal to anyone else. When you are very interested in someone, everything about them does not go past you.

Constant Focus

You may be in a room full of people, but the person you like is all you can pay attention to. You focus your attention on whatever that person is doing or saying. This can cause you to be distracted as you are checking your phone to see if they text you, having trouble focusing at work, or being forgetful. Remember that while your attraction to this person is strong, do not forget about the people in your life who were there first as well as your responsibilities. 

Losing Track of Time

They say that time flies when you are having fun. When you are with this person, it feels like so much time has gone by because you are enjoying your time with this person. It makes you think that no time will be enough when you are with this person. It can be because of the deep, long conversations you are both having, have fun activities in common, enjoy the comfortable silence, or just enjoy your time together. There is never any boredom with this person.

Easy to Open Up to

You feel like because there is such an attraction between the two of you, you can say whatever you want to this person. You do not worry about judgment or anger. When there is chemistry, you do not have to feel nervous around this person and you can just relax as you let your thoughts pour out. You really trust this person that if you share anything private, they will not say anything to anyone. 


The best way you can detect romantic chemistry is if the two of you can be friends as well. Not everything should be about physical actions, but about the close bond the two of you have. By being able to be friends, there should not have to be too much pressure to impress. The stronger the chemistry is, the longer your love will last.

Located in Centennial, Colorado, Restoration Therapy works with patients who are struggling with addiction, intimacy disorders, and trauma who are seeking treatment. In order to offer patients a more holistic view on healthy sexuality, Restoration Therapy offers individualized and group therapy, workshops, psycho-educational classes, and more to restore the harm brought on by addiction and intimacy issues. For more information, please call us at (720) 446-6585 as we are open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.

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