by Kyle Beard on Thursday, October 10th, 2019
It is healthy to have arguments once in a while as long as you argue in a healthy way where no one gets hurt. There are arguments that can be made about the dynamics of your relationship. Some arguments can actually make a relationship stronger if the resolution helps clear things up about how your relationship will go.
You and your partner may have had arguments about money. One of you may be spending too much, being cheap about spending, or have different priorities on what is worth spending. It can be a sensitive subject talking about how one is spending money and that changes need to be made. At the same time, you do not want to be in an unfair situation where you and your partner end up in debt because you both did not see eye to eye. Do not be afraid to disagree with your partner if this fight can lead to a plan in the end that will sort out your finances. By knowing where you both stand on finances, you can come up with a compromisable plan that works for both of you.
You may feel strange asking your partner to spend more time with you as feel like that is something you should not have to ask from someone who loves you. Instead of telling your partner how you feel, this may result in yelling, shutting down, criticism, or being hostile. You can plead with your partner to build a connection with you, but it does not have to be in a way that points your partner as the bad guy. Bringing this up to your partner will show them how you care and what you need, giving you two a better understanding of each other.
Arguments about chores can range from thinking that your partner is avoiding their responsibilities in the house, leaving you to do more. Being afraid to reach out to your partner about what is bothering you about them not helping you will leave you to resentment and hostility. You cannot hold these feelings in or you will explode at your partner and be confused as to why this is an issue now instead of a long time ago. You may disagree in the beginning about chores in that your partner may say there is no time between when getting home, eating dinner, and sleeping, but you can both reach an agreement later. For example, you can volunteer to handle the laundry if your partner handles the dishes as soon as dinner is over.
Another argument can be that your partner is spending more time at work than with you. Even when they are with you, their eyes are glued to the computer or their phone. You may feel like your partner hardly even looks at you. Your partner may feel like you are not respecting how important their work is to them. It is best to let your partner know that you are feeling distant from them and that your feelings are hurt by this. Talking about this frequently and letting your feelings be heard will enhance communication. This way, both of your needs are met such as turning your devices off during dinner or planning nights out once a week.
You and your partner may have different ideas of the best way to spend your days off. You may want to relax at home while your partner wants to go out. This may lead to arguments that aggravate you in that you spend too much time arguing about it instead of actually doing something together. At least one thing that you can get out of these arguments is the strong desire to be together. In this argument, you have the chance to be honest with your partner about how you prefer to spend your downtime. You two can take turns about what to do each weekend and you may even realize your partner had the right idea all along.
Couples communicate in different ways. It can be where they have a tendency to raise their voices at each other or prefer not to talk at all. This can build up anger and make you two avoid each other. The takeaway from this argument can be that you two care enough about each other to want to discuss how to communicate with each other. It is better than the two of you feeling like you cannot open up. By learning new information about each other, you can change the way the two of you talk to each other.
There are plenty of couples that avoid talking to each other because they do not want to confront each other about their disagreements and deal with hurt feelings. The truth is that the love you two have for each other should be strong enough where one argument should not end your relationship. Disagreements can lead you to learn new things about each other and make the relationship stronger. By reaching resolutions after every argument, you can come up with new plans and compromises that will make you both happy and lucky that the two of you have each other.
Located in Centennial, Colorado, Restoration Therapy works with patients who are struggling with addiction, intimacy disorders, and trauma who are seeking treatment. In order to offer patients a more holistic view on healthy sexuality, Restoration Therapy offers individualized and group therapy, workshops, psycho-educational classes, and more to restore the harm brought on by addiction and intimacy issues. For more information, please call us at (720) 446-6585 as we are open Monday through Friday from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.